Harriet May answers some questions about herself:

What qualifies you to do this?

I am not, technically speaking, qualified in any way whatsoever.  But I have seen a lot of entry-level résumés, and most are horrendous.  Which is funny, because if you are coming straight from college you should be getting your butt to the career center and asking for help, not whipping something up the minute you realize you just graduated and you don’t want to live in your parents’ basement.  That sort of stuff doesn’t come for free in the “real world,” and frankly I don’t care how hungover you were.  But if you are living in your mom’s basement, I am here for you.   Although no, you cannot sleep on my couch.

Are you a recruiter?

I am the most junior person at our company.  So, no!  But I am the most outspoken about résumés.  Which obviously makes me the most fun to be around on a daily basis.

What did you do at college?

My parents didn’t like me very much so they sent me to boarding school in England, and I stayed there for college, too.  In England we call college “uni” (short for university, duh).  I went to Newcastle University (yes, in Newcastle Upon Tyne, where Newcastle Brown Ale is from!  I’m so glad you’ve heard of it) and got a B.A. in English Literature.  Then, like a lot of graduates, I didn’t want to a) live at home, b) regain my American accent or c) get a real job so I did a Masters in English Literary Studies at Durham University.  Ok, so the American accent part isn’t so much like a lot of graduates.  I did regain it later, anyway.

Will you write my résumé for me?

No.  Unless you are my brother, and are going to give me 50% of your first paycheck when I get you hired.  Just kidding!  I’m not that fussy.  I’ll settle for a pizza.  Ok, fine, your leftover pizza crust.  Whatever. (Brothers are so cheap.)

Hey, I agree!  Most résumés are terrible!  Can I write a guest post for you?

Yes.  Email me at resumemascara@yahoo.com.

Do you write all the e’s in “résumé” with the accent?  Most people don’t bother.

What can I say?  I try to be elegant but then again I still burp in front of my mom.

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